Read My Blog, Get Rich, Become A Genius

A study of subscribers to this blog has found that, compared to the national average, the typical Marketing Tea Party subscriber:

• Earns 10 times more
• Has a net worth 15 times greater
• Has an IQ 35 points higher

Conclusion: Reading this blog makes you rich and smart. (Of course, the fact that you are already reading this means that you already knew that).

“But wait a second Shevlin,” you say, “you’re making a causal connection where they might not be any.”

YA THINK?

Sorry to burst your bubble, but it doesn’t take a genius to figure that out. (Translation: People who don’t read this blog should be able to figure that out).

If that’s true, then how do you account for articles and blog posts like the one on NielsenWire that reported:

“The mobile banking consumer carries a higher balance than the average banking consumer and has a greater net worth. While still only representing a small percentage of banking households, that number is increasing. Understanding the unique needs of this lucrative segment could mean winning and retaining valuable customers.”

Guess what happens to the average balance and average net worth of the average mobile banking customer as mobile banking adoption increases. They decline. As more customers adopt the service, the averages of adopters trends toward the overall average.

(You get this, but only because your IQ is 35 points higher than the average).

There’s another problem with the logic in the Nielsen post: Just because an artificially defined segment of consumers has a higher than average level of income and/or net worth does not mean it has “unique” needs. And even if it did, as more and more people adopt mobile banking, those “unique” will become less and less unique.

Well, I told you that if you read my blog, you’d get rich and become a genius. You might not be any better off financially, but c’mon, admit it: You do feel a little bit smarter, don’t you?

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