Financial Diseases

You probably don’t remember the days when pharma ads didn’t dominate TV advertising. The biggest impact these ads have had on me is not making me aware of the drugs, but making me aware of the condition the drugs are supposed to treat.

I have suspected for a long time that pharma companies were inventing these diseases. Now I’m sure of it. I mean, c’mon, who ever heard of “Low T” before this year? Personally, I’m sick of these ads (pun intended), and hearing my wife (jokingly?) say to me every time they come on, “maybe that’s your problem.”

But you know what they say: If it didn’t work, they wouldn’t keep doing it.

So it got me thinking: Maybe financial firms need to do this to help sell their products. Here are few of the “conditions,” or financial diseases, that financial firms could invent to help sell their products:

1. Low-C. Do you find your self without enough money to go out drinking in the days leading up to your next paycheck? You probably suffer from Low-C (low cash). Instead of trying to sell something as distasteful as a “payday loan” to people, banks should offer Low-C Infusions.

2. Equitile Dysfunction. If you don’t have the financial power to get that new home improvement up, but have a decent amount of equity in your home, you might have equitile dysfunction. Trying to push “home equity loans” is so 1995. Pharma companies offers Staxyn for ED, so why don’t banks offer Stoxyn for financial ED? Tag line could be: Take Stock In Your Home.

3. Restless ARM Syndrome. You know that adjustable rate mortgage that’s got you worried, because you just know that interest rates are going to rise? A “fixed mortgage” is no way to cure that disease. If pharma companies can offer Requip for restless leg syndrome, then banks can offer Refin for restless ARM syndrome.

Anyway, it’s not my job to come up with this stuff. Financial services marketers need to get a little creative here and take a look outside the industry for what’s working in the world of marketing.

2 thoughts on “Financial Diseases

  1. I am tuning in late to this “DVR’ed” blog-post. But this is creative + hilarious + pure marketing genius (that might work!). You sir, have hit the trifecta! Take a bow.

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