Ten Cents A Tweet

I was talking with a buddy of mine, who apologized for not being very active on Twitter over the past few weeks.

The reason for his inactivity? Get this: He’s been busy.

I nearly fell off my exercise ball. I mean, really, what kind of excuse is that for not tweeting? How in the world can my friend build his personal brand if he’s not tweeting 50 to 100 times a day (on weekdays, that is, and 10 to 20 times on Saturdays and Sundays)?

Apparently, it turns out that my friend has a somewhat unique and novel strategy for building his personal brand. He intends to do it by….drumroll, please….by getting bottom-line results for his clients.

Well, good luck to him. That clearly isn’t going to work for the rest of us, is it? No way.

But building a personal brand through Twitter is no piece of cake. What to tweet? What to say that comes off as smart, witty, and contributing to the “conversation”? This is challenging for a lot of folks looking to build their personal brand.

That’s why I’m excited to announce that I can help.

Drawing on my deep marketing experience, top-notch writing skills, and world-class wit, I will tweet for you. All while you’re working on your real job.

And all for ten cents a tweet.

Here’s how it’s going to work: I will tweet 10 to 50 times per weekday in your name.  These tweets will be insightful, informative, and sometimes funny. We’ll have a preliminary discussion to define exactly what you want your personal brand to be.

You’ll be building your personal brand for as little as $1 per day. What a bargain.

In no time, you will have tens — if not hundreds — of thousands of followers anxiously awaiting your every tweet.

With just 1000 clients, I will be making a fortune (mostly because I will require a two-year contract, and will be collecting my fees in advance).

How much money will you make from this arrangement?

I have no idea, and quite frankly, I’m surprised that you’re even asking that question. After all, since having tens — or thousands — of followers seems to be so important to you,  I would have guessed that you figured out that part of the equation already.

Anyway, I’m here to help — all for ten cents a tweet. Call me. Oops, I mean tweet me.


10 thoughts on “Ten Cents A Tweet

  1. hahahahahaha I nearly snorted my coffee reading this entry!

    Ten cents? I’d gladly pay an ENTIRE quarter to get a snappy Shevlinator-quality snarky tweet to aim at someone who irks me.

  2. @Morriss: I’d gladly do that for you, but it’s not really in line with your brand. You might want to reconsider that.

    @Matt: I don’t think you want to BE a female Swedish bikini model. I think you WANT a female Swedish bikini model. Get in line, buddy.

  3. Ire, mon. Dread I. Tweet me brand with an overstuffed tam, sacramental herb and da young girls seeking my island wisdom with surely follow. I’ll pay one righteous bud per tweet.

  4. @Natty: What a joy to hear the utterance from a rasta. It’s like seh grizzly a folly when dey smoke off the collie and mash it grizzly. Jah guide I thru dis valley, mon.

  5. Pingback: reflections on emergent commerce and technology » Shared Items – September 15, 2009

  6. Is it possible to get a discount? Is that 10¢ in US or CDN dollars? To think that this offer is coming from a person of such stature and forbearance. So very hard to believe.

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