So you’re advertising on report cards now, eh? May I remind you that we live in a one-to-one, personalized marketing world now? It’s not enough for you to just offer free happy meals on kids’ report cards. Instead, you need to customize and personalize your offers. May I suggest:
“We’re sorry that you haven’t done real good in English. Come in to McDonelds for a free order of frys anyway.”
“Only a C in Math? No problem, come to McDonalds and buy one Quarter Pounder and get the next one for double the price.”
“At McDonalds, we don’t put chemicals and preservatives in our food. Not that you would know the difference considering you failed Science.”
“Only a B in Gym? Get into shape with our Asian Salad With Grilled Chicken.”
I’m sure you can come up with some more. Good luck.
p.s. I almost forgot, I have one more suggestion for you. STOP DOING THIS.